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Chuck ipsum. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the sh*t out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then trank three kegs and shat on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack. Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two" Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then trank three kegs and shat on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living sh*t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire. Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors. Playgirl magazine once asked Chuck Norris to appear naked in an issue, Chuck laughed at the opportunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants. Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full. Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.